i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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