you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
