she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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