you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
