Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
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