youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
this is jacob
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe isn't a time...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.