I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
