See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
