Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize