eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
