With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
