I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize