highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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