my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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