White coat. Heels.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
