quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
