we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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