i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
