Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
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