He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
