I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
