Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
