The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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