She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm bleeding and have questions
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
