hell yes lets make some ravioli
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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