If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
