Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
