I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
