He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I fill condoms, not promises.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
