I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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