I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
