i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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