Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
