she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
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He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
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How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I supernannyed him into submission
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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