i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Rumble strips road head = magical
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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