Can Purell be used as lube?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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