I'm eating all of the evidence.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
