i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
