Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
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literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
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The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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