The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
