Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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