Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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