If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
