I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize