Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
