I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
