You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
