we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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