just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
