She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
