Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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