so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
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