we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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