The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I puked a lego.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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