Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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