Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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