So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
