Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
