But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
