Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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