Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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