We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
