conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
