she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm having to shit out rocks
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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